The Two Types of Beer Snobs

We have all met them. Seen them at the local watering hole. The beer snobs. I allege that there are two types of beer snobs. There may be a few subtypes but these two sum it up, for the most part. I have identified a few tells so they can be identified and dealt with immediately. Which one is more annoying? I will let you decide.

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The ubiquitous Bud Light only guy. He does not stand out in a crowd so much as he is the crowd. You know the guy. He bellies up to the bar that has fifty options of beer ranging from crisp to hardy and complains about the lack of Bud Light. This is the same guy who goes to an expensive steakhouse and orders his filet mignon well done and demands A1 sauce to drown the flavor. He loves the flavorless Bud Light because he can slam 15 low alcohol content beers and keep his kidneys flushed. While in the restroom for the tenth time in the last hour with the other “Bud Light Only” guys he will be making fun of the light weight on his fourth 9% ABV IPA who is not keeping pace. I bet he didn’t wash his hands because that is the only flavor that Bud Light is going to have. He tried a craft beer. Once, and was not impressed.

Not as common but less interesting is the never Bud Light type. He is a facade of interesting with the affectations to prove it. The bar always looks much busier and the flow slows down when it is his turn to order. In an effort to show his sophistication he will keep the bartender busy discussing the qualities of each and every beer, ad nauseum, keeping everyone waiting while he twists his handlebar mustache or pets his beard. After a short dissertation about every beer the brewery has ever made, including discontinued, he orders the same thing he always orders. His whole persona is constructed to appear unique and interesting but in reality he is shallow as the urinal the Bud Light only guy is still standing at. 

What should be done about these characters? A question for the ages. Absolutely nothing. Sure, have a laugh at their expense or a sigh of frustration but life is too short to burn too many calories over it. Live and let live or be like me and make fun of them every chance you get.

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