I have failed in my attempt to improve my vocabulary. I guess I will have to settle with the fact that I will never become a sesquipedalian. I have decided that I would do it my way. As in, I’ll make up my own words. Allow me to elaborate.
I was searching for a word that best describes a feeling. That feeling all libationist experience when that first sip of a fine beer hits our taste buds. That little moment of euphoria when a well-crafted beer crosses the lips and caresses the tongue. The stars are a little brighter, colors a little more vivid, life a little more joyous. Also, there is the anticipation. A future a little brighter. That growing feeling when you start cutting the grass on a hot summer day verses when you are almost finished. One last strip and it is beer:30. The growing anticipation. Some would call it euphoria but that just doesn’t cover it. Not exact enough. It is beerphoria.
As there is good, there is evil. What about the opposite feeling? We all know it but haven’t been exactly able to stick a word on it. It’s a pernicious state to be avoided at all costs. The problem is it can’t be avoided, no matter the precautions taken. The anticipation, the beerphoria, is heavy and that first taste reveals a godawful beer that should be described as pond water. Crash from the highest high to the lowest low. Crashing like a wave on the beach, beerphoria to beerphobia. Only one letter throws us into the maelstrom of putrid foulness. EEEWWW! Another example would be the beerphoria of finishing cutting the grass and reaching for the refrigerator only to discover, there is no beer. AAAHHHH, I’M OUT OF BEER! BEERPHOBIA!! Irrational? I disagree. As rational as Spock negotiating with the Romulans. Beerphobia is rational and real and, sadly, thousands suffer from it every day.
We should get our definitions straight.
Beer-pho-ri-a
/bir’forea/
Noun
A feeling or state of intense excitement and happiness in relation to the first drink of a beer or the anticipation of drinking a beer.
“The beerphoria experienced today will trying a new IPA will fuel my desire for more new beers.”
Beer-pho-bi-a
/bir’fobea/
Noun
An extreme and rational fear of or aversion to drinking a bad beer or running out of beer.
“He had a beerphobia about drinking bad beer”
Well, there you have it. I am convinced that I have improved my vocabulary in my own way and that I have made a positive contribution to the world of literature. HMMM, libeerature? Maybe, we will save that for another day. I will be submitting, “beerphoria” and “beerphobia” to Merriam-Webster and the Oxford Dictionary for inclusion. Should be a first-round ballot induction. I feel the beerphoria rising so, on to the next beer adventure.
